I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.
Who are you to judge the life I live?
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
Reality continues to ruin my life.

Other Quotes by Woody Allen

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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