When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.
10 out of 10 with 1 ratings

Related Quotes

You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Other Quotes by Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Humor is reason gone mad.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Comments ...
Sites where this quote is embedded ...