Quotes tagged with humour (51 quotes found)

Douglas Adams
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
humor  deadlines  humour  work  writing  # 73
Suzanne Collins
Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.
Kurt Vonnegut
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
humour  telekinetics  # 383
Douglas Adams
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.
humour  # 395
Charles Bukowski
Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.
humour  # 559
Suzanne Collins
Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?"
Ray Bradbury
I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room.
Charles Bukowski
I don't hate people. I just feel better when they aren't around.
humour  misanthropy  # 949
Marjorie Pay Hinckley
The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.
wisdom  humour  # 1135
Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
humour  funny  crime  neighborhoods  # 1164
Robert Orben
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
truth  humour  politics  # 1458
Gloria Steinem
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
humour  feminism  # 1743
Johnny Depp
If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.
love  humour  # 1836
Oscar Wilde
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.
humour  beauty  # 1847
William Goldman
When I was your age, television was called books.
fantasy  humour  book  # 1980