Quotes tagged with humor (1199 quotes found)

Douglas Adams
The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.
humor  science  perspective  # 794
Cassandra Clare
Investigation?" Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names."
Stephanie Klein
Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
life  truth  humor  memoir  # 817
J.K. Rowling
Don't talk to me."
Richelle Mead
Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.
humor  friendship  romance  # 824
J.K. Rowling
Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.
Cassandra Clare
You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me."
Steven Wright
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
humor  memory  amnesia  # 872
Lemony Snicket
I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.
humor  # 876
Lewis Carroll
Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.
humor  # 884
Dr. Seuss
Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!
humor  philosophy  # 893
Terry Pratchett
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
Douglas Adams
The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
humor  flight  flying  hg2g  # 908
John Green
Some people have lives; some people have music.
life  humor  music  # 915
Cassandra Clare
Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn't make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the duckie. (Jace Wayland)
Cassandra Clare
Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.