Quotes tagged with humor (1199 quotes found)

Edgar Allan Poe
I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.
Cassandra Clare
That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."
Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
humor  knowledge  # 652
J.K. Rowling
Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.
humor  # 672
Maya Angelou
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
life  inspirational  humor  # 673
George Carlin
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
life  humor  religion  atheism  # 680
Winston S. Churchill
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
humor  taste  # 697
Oscar Wilde
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
humor  god  man  creation  # 726
George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
happiness  humor  family  # 736
J.K. Rowling
You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge.
humor  # 742
Veronica Roth
I have something I need to tell you," he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."
love  humor  divergent  beatrice  tobias  # 749
Nicholas Sparks
Mom says it's because she has PMS.
humor  # 759
Richelle Mead
I’d said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass.
Terry Pratchett
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.
life  humor  death  # 768
Oscar Wilde
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
humor  drama  plays  # 780
Isaac Asimov
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.